Preparation for the vision quest was relatively simple as everything was clearly spelled out in the vision quest guidebook sent out by the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS). Although I possessed no camping gear I would be able to borrow it from my partner, Michelle. We went to REI to get the hiking boots, gloves, hat, long underwear, and whatever else was on the list of requirements.
There were also recommendations on how to best prepare psychologically and physically for the 10-day journey in the California desert. Because alcohol, caffeine, and drugs of any kind would be strictly prohibited, it was suggested questers begin modifying their diets and lifestyles to prepare for eating vegetarian food for the ten days and drinking only water, natural juices, and herbal tea. On the 3-day solo portion of the quest you would only be allowed to drink the water you transported from the base camp. The critical importance of having absolutely no food or sense of chronological time, and complete silence for the three days alone was heavily stressed.
I left Seattle Wednesday morning, July 9th for the drive to Santa Rosa, California, the home of the vision quest leader, Sedonia Cahill. Three days later I arrived around 6PM at her home where all the questers were to meet. I was surprised at the large number in the group; fourteen in total - four men and ten women from all over the U.S. (Detroit, Chicago, San Francisco, Miami, Charleston, Vancouver, etc.). We had informal introductions and a meal in her enclosed backyard. Everyone was expected to find a place in or outside the house to sleep for the night. Upon awakening, a caravan of a few pick-up trucks and cars packed with Sedonia, her staff, and the fourteen of us began our 10-hour trek to the quest site which was located somewhere in the vast eastern California desert not far from Death Valley.
We stopped for lunch and again later in the afternoon for dinner. I was surprised to find most of my fellow questers downing heavy food, multiple cups of coffee, and even smoking after meals. So much for serious preparation!
It was dark when we got to the vision quest site. We were told to get our gear and find a place to put our sleeping bag and bundle up and get into it for the night. It turned out to be a very cold night and my first time ever camping out, sleeping on the ground was miserable. The only bright side was the magnificent and vast sky sparkling with unbelievably beautiful stars.
When dawn broke I got out of my sleeping bag, stood up and looked around. We were in the middle of nowhere. There were no signs of civilization in any direction. No toilets, no running water, nothing! Everyone was told to find and set up their individual campsites with their tarp, sleeping bag, and equipment while the home base tents and facilities were set up by the staff. We were then to return to the base site and have breakfast.
The rest of the day was spent with each of us giving a brief biography of ourselves to the group. When that was finished Sedonia gave us the itinerary for the week: Tomorrow (Monday) we would all leave separately after breakfast to go find a place within a 2-mile radius where we'd set up our campsite for the three days and three nights alone. We would then carry water to that site and clear it in preparation for moving there Tuesday morning. We would be in total silence and fasting Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. On the final day, Thursday, we would each prepare our sacred medicine circle per her instructions, and enter that circle Thursday at dusk and stay in it all night, awake if possible, until we heard the drums at dawn being played at base camp calling us to return. We were instructed to leave the circle at that point and come back to base camp, thus ending the solo phase of the vision quest.
All went as planned Monday. I found a nice spot a little bit up the side of the mountain from home base that felt perfect. I lugged about ten plastic containers each filled with a gallon of warm water to the site. I was more than ready for the move Tuesday morning to begin (and end) this 3-day ordeal.
As everyone returned to base camp we shared our search experiences and soon it was time for dinner. Sedonia announced at dinner that in a few hours we would be called (by the drums) for a group get-together that would be a send off ceremony. She said we would officially begin the solo when we entered the silence at the end of the meeting.
I was anxious to get this over with. This whole thing was more than I had bargained for and far more difficult than I'd imagined. In the evening when the drums started I headed for base camp and was surprised to see a beautiful fire and the circle of my peers who were in the process of finding their seats in the darkness around the fire.
The quest leader began by talking about the American Indian tradition and how they related to their vision quests as she lit up an old Indian peace pipe filled with smoking tobacco and passed it around. People took little puffs and passed it around the circle.
Next, she had her assistants hand out small tree branches about 6 inches long to each of us. She informed us that each person was to tell the group a story of the worst day of our life, and when we finished we were to throw the branch into the fire.
She chose the woman on her left to begin. As I was seated at Sedonia's right, it meant I would be last to tell my story. There were touching stories of failed relationships, lost careers, personal hardships, rejection, and serious illness.
When my turn came I said, "The worst day of my life was when I was 7 years old and my alcoholic father, who was a Marine officer in the Korean War was home on leave. My mother, my sister who was 2 years old and I lived in the projects in upstate New York. It was early Sunday morning and I was awake in the living room watching out the front door window waiting for him to come home from being out all night. I saw him staggering down the road and ran up to the bedroom and asked my mother if I should lock the door. She said, 'no, let him in.'
"I went back and sat down in the living room chair. My father opened the door. He was angry. His uniform was all messed up and as he stomped past me he yelled, 'call your grandparents and tell them I'm going to kill your mother.' I called 4-8226 and told my grandfather what my father had said. He said he would call the police. I then walked half way up the stairs and could see my father sitting on top of my mother in the bed beating her. The next thing I remember is my mother holding my sister standing next to me in the bathtub with the bathroom door locked as my father was trying to knock the door down.
"Then the police arrived. Later that day my mom, sister, and I moved into my grandparents home, where we would stay until I graduated from college. My father would never live with us again. That was the worst day of my life."
With those final words I began to feel the power and the pressure of the silence as it enveloped me. I then stood up and walked toward the fire, threw in the branch and watched as it slowly burned then disappeared in the flames.
My vision quest had begun...
Poem 80: Spiritual Realization (Here and Now)
Returning with knowledge that goes far beyond college,
esoteric truths loosening the noose.
An inner directional map to help you escape the trap.
For those ripe souls with long-held yearning,
now being faced with intensified burning,
it's time to commence the deeper learning:
Knowledge grounded in wisdom;
Love anchored in truth;
Faith deepened by spiritual experience.
Constant yearning, disciplined learning will ease the burning.
Be still as effortless effort replaces personal will;
not to worry - you're just becoming grist for God's divine mill.
--TeddyShark Saves Shibboullyville
2010 Copyright © TeddyShark
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